Depressions Archive - Thesilée

My Paper Gown

They dressed me in a paper gown
and then they locked the door.
In a windowless, tableless, chairless room
all I could do was stare at the floor.
They cut all my hair so I won’t use a strand
as the string that would set myself free:
They took from me all means to take my own life
so that they in the end could kill me.

Let me just have a pen and some ink to write
all the words that no one can see.
But a pen is a sword
and my wish is ignored
and my gown remains empty like me.

I knew my babes were innocent,
they were too young to die.
But when I went to part this world
their souls I first let fly.
They slept on the backseat, did not feel a thing
when my car was engulfed by the waves
Yet when I felt the waters that crept up my shins
there was something that urged to be saved.

Let me just have a pen and some ink to write
all the words that no one can see.
But a pen is a sword
and my wish is ignored
and my gown remains empty like me.

My lawyer claims I’ve lost my mind
he says I’m not to blame.
And each man paid to save my neck
would likely do the same.
Yet never he asks why I did what I’ve done
for committing such heinous a crime
I pray they could just let me end what I started –
instead, they are playing for time.

Let me just have a pen and some ink to write
all the words that no one can see.
But a pen is a sword
and my wish is ignored
and my gown remains empty like me.

The prosecutor wants my head,
with which I would gladly part.
How can someone as bad as me
still have a beating heart?
But all time till the trial starts,
if e’ver the day I’ll see,
here in purgatory I am trapped
forced to live, and yet worse, forced to be.

Let me just have a pen and some ink to write
all the words that no one can see.
But a pen is a sword
and my wish is ignored
and my gown remains empty like me.

Inspired by an American criminal case from the 1990s: Suicidal remand prisoners were given paper clothes so that they could not hang themselves before the trial.

The song with chords as a PDF
The song in Chordpro format

Masks

While wearing my mask, my friendly face
I’m the one the world wants me to be.
I never seem lost, I don’t seem out of place,
and my smile is what you want to see.
With my mask I will smile when you want me to smile
or I’ll grin and I’ll snicker and sneer –
I even may cry for you once in a while,
And everyone’s glad that I’m here.

But this is just my mask
You cannot read my mind
O this is just my mask
You cannot look behind.
Remove it, and you’ll find –

While wearing my mask, my evil face
I sing songs full of horror and glee.
You’ll find that my mind works in most curious ways
and you’ll come, my weird smile for to see.
With my mask I will show you the Dark in your soul
– you won’t notice I never show mine –
I may tell you I’m down, but I just play my role,
and my mask tells you I am just fine.

But this is just my mask
You cannot read my mind
O this is just my mask
You cannot look behind.
Remove it, and you’ll find –

While wearing my mask, my human face
you may think there are feelings in there.
But I sleep though my nights and I wake through my days
and all of the time I don’t care.
With my mask I will mask that there’s no passion left,
that I’m empty and hollow inside,
but I walk like a corpse, of my soul I’m bereft,
and the child that I once was has died.

But this is just my mask
You cannot read my mind
O this is just my mask
You cannot look behind.
Remove it, and you’ll find –
another mask
and another mask
and another mask
and the void.

This is a song about me.
Because I wanted to be true once in my life.

The song with chords as a PDF
The song in Chordpro format

Herr Ohneland

Vogel ohn Federkleid
sitzt da zur Winterszeit
Weiß sind die Knochen
und karg wie der Tod.
Kommt der Herr Ohneland
hat das Eis fortgebrannt
schenkt uns den Frühling
vertreibt alle Not.

Herr ohne Land, jag uns den Winter fort
Frau ohne Mund schenk uns dein Licht
Leicht sei mein Herz damit es klingen kann
Kälte und Dunkel, ich fürchte euch nicht.

Baum ohne Blätterkleid
steht in der Winterszeit
hier Vogel Federlos
baut sich sein Nest.
Kommt die Frau Mundlos an
die das Eis schmelzen kann
Dunkelheit brütet nur
wenn man sie lässt.

Herr ohne Land, jag uns den Winter fort
Frau ohne Mund schenk uns dein Licht
Leicht sei mein Herz damit es klingen kann
Kälte und Dunkel, ich fürchte euch nicht.

Gleich, wie du sie auch nennst,
wenn du die Sonne kennst
weißt du, der Winter
geht einmal vorbei
Sing, wer nicht warten kann,
gegen den Kummer an
Sei selbst die Sonne,
nur dann bist du frei.

Herr ohne Land, jag uns den Winter fort
Frau ohne Mund schenk uns dein Licht
Leicht sei mein Herz damit es klingen kann
Kälte und Dunkel, ich fürchte euch nicht.

Lord Landless und Lady Mouthless – in the Englischen as well as the German riddle the sun who drives the winter away.

The song with chords as a PDF
The song in Chordpro format